So one morning, Melissa, like the good little yogini she is, decided to use her neti pot.  Using the neti pot is one of the 6 cleansing rituals or kriyas described in the complete yoga system (and probably that’s about as far as she’ll go with that.  Go ahead and read what the rest are.  Then you decide if you want go all the way).  Mel loves to neti.  As someone who suffers from allergies and sinus infections it can be a life saver!

In goes the appropriate amount of non-iodized salt.  Believe it or not this can vary from the amount described in the instructions that usually come with the neti pot.  Ph balance can be different from person to person and you are trying to match the body’s salinity.  Having done this plenty of times Mel knows just how much salt to use.  Of course she has boiled water the night before and kept it in a clean mason jar, so she doesn’t have to use tap water and accidentally introduce killer bacteria to her brain…seriously.   Mel even has freshly boiled water on hand to make just the right temperature.  Not too hot, not too cold.  Nasal passages are sensitive, after all.

This one is easy to clean! Go to
This one is easy to clean! Go to

With all parts of this ritual carefully tended to Mel begins the blissful experience of douching her face.  The bliss factor definitely increases after you’ve done it a few time and learn just the right head position so you don’t compromise your ear canals or cause blinding headaches.    But a familiar sensation interrupts the cleanse.  Mel has to sneeze.  No problem.  The sink is right there.  What better place to let the snot fly?

ACHOO! OW, WHAT THE FUCK!?  Yes, this is what happened.  Mel didn’t realize how close she was to the faucet head and the recoil of her sneeze slammed her forehead right into it.  After standing there for a few moments stunned, recovering from the painful surprise she finishes up and  goes to boil the neti pot (it’s metal and should be sterilized after every use).  A few minutes later Mel checks the mirror one last time before leaving the house and is greeted by a giant, red lump on her forehead.

Well, that’s one way to open your third eye.

A warning to neti users:  practice conscious awareness of where you are in space while DOING EVERYTHING.  See, even yoga therapists have klutzy moments.  Don’t let this happen to you!  Pay attention.  Mel has taken that experience as a gentle reminder from the universe to be present in all circumstances.  Thanks universe!  So sweet of you.